SIKH Destination Weddings
Alright, today on Everything Bagel, someone sent me this Twitter clip about Sikh destination weddings, particularly in Mexico. People in the Greater Toronto Area (GTA) love going to Mexico to get married. But are we starting to take a pause? I think people have raised the issue, saying, ‘Isn’t it wild that we’re taking the Guru there and doing Anand Karaj on a beach with onlookers?’
Everyone recognizes that it might not be the greatest situation, but it’s often given a blind eye. People think, ‘Okay, whatever, we get a Mexico vacation out of it, we get to hang out on a beach, and oh yeah, there’s a wedding too.’ These weddings have gotten really popular in the last decade because it’s so hard to book reception halls here. It’s much easier to book a Mexican resort pretty much whenever you want, and the weather’s usually great.
Another benefit? You don’t have to invite nearly as many people. If you get married locally, there are all these guest list politics. But in Mexico, people aren’t as offended if they don’t get an invite, or if you do invite them, they’re less likely to go if they have to pay for their own hotel and flights. It’s an easy way to cut down the guest list if you have too many people you feel obligated to invite.
I saw a podcast clip from Dream Chasers pod where they talked about it. They said, ‘A lot of Punjabi people do need money,’ referring to the spectacle of having a Sikh wedding on a public beach with tourists watching. The podcasters noted the awkwardness of half-naked people watching from a couple of meters away, comparing it to a zoo. Someone even joked that the tourists might think it was some Arabian princess getting married.
It’s great that they’re opening up this debate. I know people who have done weddings on beaches in Mexico, and now everyone’s starting to rethink it. If you’re planning one, people might try to talk you out of it because of the potential disrespect of taking the Guru there. But it’s still popular because of the timing and ease.
The core issue is potentially preventing the Guru Granth Sahib from being present in a respectful environment. Some think Punjabi weddings have become dumb ego contests focused solely on aesthetics, arguing that people in the UK and elsewhere don’t engage in this trend as much. Some people are all for destination weddings as long as the Anand Karaj stays in the Gurdwara, but then, is it really a destination wedding? Who goes to a Mexican Gurdwara?
I’ve never understood why people get married on the beach. Getting sand in your clothes and shoes sounds annoying. One person commented that the only way to stop this is by publicly shaming those who do it. They suggested that if people are so keen on having non-Sikh onlookers present, they should just get a court marriage and hit up a strip club after! (I don’t know if the strip club comment was necessary.) The point is, when you start focusing more on impressing outsiders than respecting Gurubani, something’s wrong.
This issue is under attack from all sides, and it’s something our diaspora needs to address. Some defend it with excuses like modernism and progressivism, while others claim those views go against Sikhi. Being a ‘Taliban-east’ of God is more important than your fairy tale wedding. There was a prominent Sikh figure who attended a non-Anand Karaj at a wedding on a beach, and his Jatha cut him off the roster for it. Within Sikh circles, this is being taken pretty seriously.
There’s a Giani, Freedom and Lila, who does Sikh weddings in Cancun. They offer personalized, bilingual ceremonies. People have reached out to him, but he seems firm in his belief that he’s celebrating love. Apparently, they now conduct the Lavaan with a stand-in, not the actual Guru Granth Sahib, which begs the question: does that even count as a valid Sikh wedding?
I’m not trying to call anyone out specifically, but this trend needs to start and stop with the Gianis and Kirtanis refusing to attend. That would eliminate the possibility of doing the Lavaan and Anand Karaj there. For me, it’s not that people shouldn’t be allowed to have nice weddings or weddings outside of a Gurdwara if they still want to do an outdoor wedding or something, but the whole Mexican beach wedding thing has become overdone, and we need to recognize that. Just look at all the onlookers in the background of these photos!
It feels like a big Canadian thing; I don’t see it as much with Americans or those in England, probably because it’s a 15-hour flight for them. It’s something we as a community need to work out and stop. That’s my thought. By all means, get married wherever you want; no one’s stopping you. But think about the message you are sending.
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