The Apple Vision Pro Looks GOOFY

⏱ Estimated Read Time: 4 minutes

Okay, this Apple Vision Pro thing? It looks dumb. Look, I’m not some random Apple hater. I love my MacBooks, and the old iMacs are still some of the coolest-looking desktop computers ever made. The iPod, in all its forms, was amazing. The iPhone and iPad created entirely new markets and, yeah, killed my beloved Blackberry. So, I’m not an Apple hater.

I thought the Watch was lame at launch, but I came around and now wish there was a proper Android equivalent. Calling the iPad an ‘iPad’ was weird, but whatever. And sure, I’ve stubbornly stuck with Android phones over iPhones. So believe me, it’s not that I hate Apple, I just don’t buy into their ‘Cool Tech’ sauce that everyone else seems to every time they hold a keynote or launch a new product.

And let’s be clear, this isn’t just my old, tired self not appreciating virtual or augmented reality. I remember playing around with the original Oculus and trying to develop some concept games. I bought into the whole future of gaming and entertainment thing, like, a decade ago. Even if it hasn’t quite delivered, it’s cool tech that’s come a ways for sure. And it’s got some promising uses, admittedly.

But let’s be real with ourselves: this thing looks dorky as hell! Somehow, Apple has flexed its reality-bending, dystopian muscles and hypnotized every other tech bro to shell out $4,500 to walk around in public looking like this. We went from what Google Glass was trying to push to this in ten years? Feels like a massive step backward in design. Yeah, I get that it does a lot more than Google Glass ever could, but at what cost?

Then again, this is the same company that’s normalized people walking around with those tampon-looking things hanging out of their ears. AR is dope, I see real-world uses for it. We’ve made video game heads-up displays a reality while walking around in public. Being able to put virtual screens everywhere and not needing a giant multi-monitor desk rig is cool. Being able to fly and travel while taking your home theater setup with you? Awesome.

But none of this is new or worth a $4,500 premium, is it? Sure, a bright blue arrow on the road while I drive would be nice, but how is that much better than just having it show up on my car screen? And I’m not dismissing the educational doors this opens up – learning anatomy on a virtual AR model, or remote robotic operators using these goggles as if they were there in person. That all seems dope.

But there’s something incredibly dystopian about how the Apple Vision goggles are mutating reality. Dudes sitting next to each other, sharing a space, but seemingly disconnected. Being able to work from anywhere, as if we aren’t already working enough and aren’t eventually going to get replaced by AI. Look, now I can work from anywhere and file taxes on the train or at the beach as if I was at my desk! Who really wants that?

I know a lot of this early footage is people doing it for TikTok, the ‘gram, or silly YouTube videos, but there’s some actual truth in where this is headed. Every gadget nerd wanting to flex their bank account is going to be walking around looking like a bootleg Tony Stark. Hipsters and trendsetters will roam through Soho wanting to shift a new connected look. Sure, maybe this is a dream come true for every degenerate gambler and fantasy sports addict, pulling up every nonsensical stat with every game, all while hoping their parlay hits.

It’s just that we somehow went from Google Glass from 12 years ago to this rig, which seems more appropriate for snowboarding. Sure, use it in your basement, but are we really trying to normalize existing in real life with these on all the time? As much as I enjoyed Ready Player One, let’s not forget it was talking about a dystopian, disconnected future.

I just find this push to normalize or make these things seem okay with everyday life absurd. Just another attempt to force-feed your dopamine while we scroll mindlessly through life. I’m all for the future of AR-assisted living and improving certain aspects of daily life, but at $4,500 to further disconnect from reality? Doesn’t seem worth it.

As always, The Simpsons were well onto the absurdity that is our modern existence, memeing reality before it even existed. And here I am, hoping everyone else gets in on the joke. Or maybe, like everything else, I’ll just be arriving late to the damn party with my own overrated, over-connected ski goggles.

Honestly, all this tech makes me want to disconnect and go find some old analog gadgets that didn’t need me to be connected or plugged in all the time. Let me know what y’all think. Drop a comment if you rock these things outdoors, and if so, share how you built up the confidence to do so. If you made it this far, drop me a like and subscribe so the algorithm can do its thing and share this video with more people. Till the next one, peace!

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updated_at 31-07-2025
Ai Disclosure: The above posts were transcribed using AI tools. Some language may not have been accurately transcribed.
Ai Header Image Prompt: A solitary figure, seen from the chest up, stands in a subtly blurred, contemporary urban background. The person wears oversized, highly sleek, yet conspicuously dorky-looking augmented reality goggles, reminiscent of ski goggles but with futuristic design elements. The goggles emit an ethereal, neon glow that subtly illuminates parts of their face, casting a slightly awkward or detached expression. Surrounding the figure and emanating from the goggles are intricate, high-detail abstract digital art elements: glowing geometric lines, fragmented data streams, and transparent, glitch-like panels that subtly distort the background reality. The color palette combines muted, realistic urban tones with vibrant, electric blues, purples, and greens from the digital overlays. The overall image has a high level of detail, blending hyper-realistic rendering of the figure and goggles with the dynamic, abstract digital art. The hands, if visible, are naturally posed and detailed, perhaps slightly in motion, contributing to the feeling of disconnected interaction. The art style is a sophisticated blend of detailed digital painting and modern abstract concept art, ensuring it does not appear overtly AI-generated. No text or bold titles on the image.