Lets Make Our Brackets! - March Maddness
Alright, so I don’t watch NCAA basketball, like, at all. But it’s March Madness time, and I usually tune in for the Final Four and stuff. So, as we do every year, we’re going to make our totally uneducated, unbiased NCAA March Madness bracket where we just randomly guess. Last year, we actually did pretty well, I won’t lie. We guessed the teams based on their mascots, I think. This year, we’re just going to use whatever comes to mind.
So, as always, we’re making these picks with no real knowledge of what’s happening. I don’t even know what criteria I’m using this year. I think I’m just going to say which team name sounds better and try to come up with some sort of narrative in my head.
Okay, Auburn versus Alabama State. One versus sixteen. Auburn would be bad if they didn’t win, right? Louisville versus… I just like the name Louisville. Louisville Sluggers! Oh, but the other team was the Blue Jays. Still gotta go with Louisville. Michigan versus San Diego Tritons? Gotta go Michigan. San Diego Triton’s name just sounds whack. Texas versus Yale? Man, Yale ain’t winning this. Mississippi Rebels versus Iowa State Cyclones? I don’t even know what those are. Lipscomb Bison – yo, if there’s going to be an upset, it’s going to be by a team called the Lipscomb Bison. We gotta go there.
Marquette Golden Eagles versus New Mexico Lobos? Marquette sounds right. Michigan State… you gotta go with the Spartans. Florida? Yeah, Florida Gators. I have a UConn shirt from way back when. I thought that name said Oklahoma Gooners, that would have been horrible. Memphis Tigers versus Colorado State Rams? Just go with the Tigers. Maryland Terrapins versus Grand Canyon Antelopes? Yo, upset! Grand Canyon Lopes! Missouri Tigers versus Drake Bulldogs? Drake’s been catching L’s all year, we’re going to catch another one right here. Texas Tech Red Raiders versus UNCW Seahawks? Let’s just go with the Red Raiders.
Kansas Jayhawks versus Arkansas Razorbacks. Wow, I didn’t even know the Razorbacks are a nasty name. Kansas City Jayhawks… St. John’s Red Storm versus Omaha Mavericks? Omaha! Let’s go Omaha!
Next round we have Auburn Tigers versus Louisville Cardinals. I don’t care if Auburn is the one seed, they’re getting booted. Michigan versus Texas A&M Aggies? Nah, just go with Michigan. North Carolina… This is when Lipscomb just bombs. Marquette Golden Eagles versus the Spartans? You know what? We can’t be showing Michigan too much love, so Marquette. Florida versus UConn? I’m going to go with the Gators. Memphis Tigers versus the Grand Canyon Lopes? Tigers! Missouri Tigers versus Jayhawks? Wow, two Tigers. Let’s just go Tigers again. Jayhawks versus Omaha? Jayhawks, you got this!
Now we’re here! Louisville Cardinals versus the Wolverines? Wolverines. Yeah, Wolverine! North Carolina… Marquette, you know what? A team like Marquette just feels like they’re going to win. And the Tigers versus the Gators? I’m going to go Gators. Tigers versus… You know what? I should just go Tigers versus Tigers. That would have been sick! Uh, no, I can’t change them. First pick. Michigan versus Marquette? Yeah, Marquette Golden Eagles fly! Gators…Um, who wins between these two? I think the Gators, I don’t know why.
Okay, onto the other side of the bracket. Duke versus Drake… Mississippi State versus Baylor Bears, Oregon Ducks. Quacky little Ducks! Arizona Wildcats…Yeah, Arizona. BYU versus UAB Blazers. UAB! Why am I singing Birmingham? VCU Rams versus Saint Mary’s Gaels. Wisconsin Badgers versus Montana Grizzlies? I like the name Grizzlies. No, yeah, too late! I was going to say I like Badgers. St. Mary’s versus Vanderbilt. Yo, there’s no team, but you know what? St. Mary’s, it’s just a name you hear going in the second round.
Alabama Crimson Tide. The way that name flowed off my tongue… Houston Cougars. We got a lot of Cougars. Gonzaga versus Georgia Bulldogs? Bulldogs versus Bulldogs…Ooh, Gonzaga! I’ve always kind of liked Gonzaga, I don’t know why. Clemson Tigers versus McNeese Cowboys? Tigers. Purdue Boilermakers… This is like one of those corporate sponsorships that just sticks. Eh, we’ll go with the Boilermakers. Xavier Musketeers versus Illinois Fighting Illini. Yeah, I guess. Kentucky Wildcats versus Troy Trojans… Kentucky. Yeah, you got it. UCLA versus UCD Aggies? You know what? I’m going to go for the Aggies just because I think it’d be hilarious to lose to a team whose name is like the Aggies. Tennessee Volunteers… The Volunteers always win!
Alright. Volunteers versus Kentucky. Purdue versus Clemson Tigers, Gonzaga versus UAB, St. Mary’s versus Alabama Crimson Tide? I feel like the Crimson Tide are like the pride and joy of Alabama. UAB versus the Montana Grizzlies. Oregon Ducks? We’re going to go with the Wildcats, man. Wildcats eat the ducks. Duke is Duke! How can you knock Duke? Duke versus the Wildcats? Duke. BYU versus Houston? I feel like I’m just going with favorites now. Kentucky versus Tennessee? I’m going to go with Kentucky. Duke versus Kentucky? And there we go. Duke! Wow. Look at this guy. Two number one seeds meeting in the friggin’ finals. Who would have guessed it?
Alright, that’s mine. I don’t know how well that performs, but last year we did pretty well and it was kind of random. So, you must… Oh, I got to pick who wins between Florida and Duke! Ah, I like Blue Devils. I don’t know why. Who was it? Blue Devils? Uh, not Warren Miller… Grant Hill! He was a Duke. Anyways, till the next one. Peace.
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